Just feed my phone - it’s hungry and you have the ability to supply it with food. Why don’t you do it?
You’re hopelessly selfish.
Oh sure phone charger, when I initially task you with phone you seem to comply. But then for some odd fucking reason you get picky! You need to be talked to sweetly and twisted gently and pricked just oh so right. For some odd fucking reason, the shift in weight from objects across the room affect your mood greatly and then you are rendered as indisposed for the next couple hours. You’re a damn bitch you know that?
You are a selfish bitch who does nothing but hoard all the phone food for yourself. What exactly are you doing with all that electricity and power? You’re a fucking charger! You’re immobile! You don’t have the capability to do even rudimentary phone-like duties! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BUTTONS FOR CHRISSAKES!
You just sit there! Plugged into the fucking outlet and waiting for somebody to sweet talk you so maybe you could spare a crumb or two for their needs. You’re terrible! You’re a terrible waste of material and I am ashamed to be associated with you. /endrant